There has to be a reason behind everything one does and there sure is one before why am i sitting here at 1 a.m in morning when i have an office tomorrow and attempting something i have never done before. Never for once did i intend to start blogging but here i am enroute this blog road.

So why am i exactly here? What do i seek? And why blogging is a solution to 'it'? Such many questions fume and spin in my head. I haven't tried to answer them in a hope that with certain time, patience and lot of neglect, they will eventually fade away. But they haven't. Though i have successfully managed to sleep pill them for durations bordering to dormancy. But yes, they have never died and that is why i am here today, scribbling or precisely typing the monotonous and repetitive humdrum my mind has become so used to.

What was i doing? It's no philosophical question and i don't intend to put it theologically either. As a matter of fact it is a simplistic attempt to arrive at the root cause of any damn action. What did i actually do? What did i actually think or how i persuaded myself to abstain from thinking? What hidden feelings did i arouse or which cultural conditioning or force or whatever shit forced me to realise the folly? The innate folly. The diehard attempt to suppress truth.

What is it that has moved me so much that am actually blogging? And that is why i ask myself what was i doing right now on this stretch of time. Not a hard question to answer. Is it? I just watched a plain documentary, rambled on phone for a while, saw some old pics., mailed a friend, thought of reading and heard the whistles and 'lathi' bumpings of the guard in the stillness of winter nights in delhi. Pretty routine. So what is it? Why am i here?

I guess i have a vague idea. Am not sure to commit though. Maybe my sleep would help me to stabilise the reeling thoughts. Maybe i will have an answer. Till then adieu. Lets see if i come back.